Sonia's Story

In September of 2006 I received a call from my father. I checked the caller id before answering so I knew it was from a hospital, which filled me with apprehension. I will never forget my father's voice that night. He said, “Sonia, I need for you to be really brave.” He went on to say that he went to the hospital because he was having pain in his back. He had a chest x-ray that showed several masses on his lungs. My father smoked most of his life so the most likely cause was lung cancer. It took two biopsies, a CT scan, and a PET scan before the final diagnosis of non –small cell lung cancer was determined. Two weeks later I was diagnosed with follicular lymphoma. Both our cancers were incurable. My father's was stage IV and mine was stage III. He had an estimated 6-10 months to live.

The next six months were unbelievable. Looking back I don't know how my family and I got through it. We took things one day at a time and when that was too much we got by moment by moment. I was in a unique position as a caregiver for a cancer patient while simultaneously I was a cancer patient myself. I went with my father and stepmother to his first chemo treatment and they went to mine.

My employer and co-workers were incredibly supportive during this time. I was able to take time off to go to all of my father's appointments as well as keep up with my own. My boss even offered to go with me to my first oncology appointment because my father was in the hospital in crisis and she was concerned that I would have to go alone while my family was with my father.

My father passed away in March of 2007. He lived long enough to see me earn by Associate's Degree, for which I am extremely grateful.

My family has been incredible through it all. I think that's particularly impressive considering that my father married my stepmother only ten years before. She had two grown children and my father had three. My sister and I remain close with my stepmother and her family. Since my brother passed away in 1999 and my mother in 1995, my sister and I are the only remaining members of our family of origin. We still have family though, our “step-family” and our father's younger sister. Now that my father's gone my aunt is the last remaining member of her family of origin.

My cancer has been in remission for nearly two years now, but will probably start growing again soon. Follicular lymphoma is a slow growing cancer but a persistent one. It's not a matter of “if” it will return; it's a matter of “when”. I probably have another ten years or so before it becomes terminal. A lot can happen it that time so I remain hopeful that new treatments will come along.

Whenever I feel overwhelmed and start wondering how I am going to deal with everything I ask myself one question:

“Where do you go to give up?”